Helping Young Children Become Independent

It’s hard to believe that some day our children will be adults making decisions for themselves. While no one expects children to know what they are doing from the beginning, there are things we can teach our children to foster independence and success later in life. Today we at Kinder Buddies will go over some tips and exercises to promote independence in your little ones.

 

Remember: Your Child is their Own Person

 

The key to fostering independence in your little one is to remind yourself they are their own person; and to lead your actions around them with that in mind. It can be hard to remember when they rely on you all basic necessities, but your child from a young age will have their own likes and dislikes. Talk to your child rather than over them, get on their level to speak to them rather than at them.

 

Give your Child Choices

 

While your child may not be able to button up their sweater or tie their shoes, they may have an opinion on what they want to wear. From day to day as long as their outfit are weather appropriate allow your child to choose their outfit. Too many choices? Set out two outfit choices for your little one and allow them to choose. Small choices like what to wear and what snacks to choose are great opportunities for your child to start making independent decisions for themselves.

 

Put it on Their Level

 

If your child is ready to take on some routines themselves like choosing their afternoon snack or brushing their teeth make sure they can complete the task alone. This means making snacks pre-packaged on a low shelf your child can reach or keeping a stool next to the sink. There are many things kids can do for themselves as long as they have the tools they need to complete the task.

 

Encourage Mistakes

 

Follow the advice from Jake the Dog in the cartoon “Adventure Time”: “…sucking at something is the first step to being sorta good at something.”

 

In the book “Mindset: The New Psychology of Success” by Carol Dwek sees two belief systems that could lead (or hinder) future success: Growth Mindset or Fixed Mindset.

While a fixed growth mindset will assume there is a natural ingrained limit to how smart a person can be or what they can achieve; a growth mindset puts importance on the effort and perseverance to achieve the goal.

 

What does this all mean? It is important to teach our kids a growth mindset; that almost anything can be achieved with hard work, practice, and time. Failure is not a sign of unintelligence or failure but rather an opportunity for growth.

 

When your child first attempts something new they are bound to make mistakes: Toothpaste on the counter? Juice on the floor? Shoes on the wrong feet?
Approach mistakes in a positive way, show them how to fix the mistake and encourage them to try again later. We all make mistakes from time to time but how we recover from mistakes is the real test for future success.

Make Time

 

If your child likes to dress themselves but takes forever set aside extra time in the morning for the task. Over time your child will get better at the task and it will take less time. While it would obviously go much faster with help from an adult, it is important to allow your child to work through some tasks even if it takes a while. If your child takes too long to decide on what to wear choose outfits the night before. If it takes too long for your child to do up their shoes set aside “practice time” before heading to the park rather than on the way to the daycare in the morning.

 

Choose the Right Timing

 

While you may want your child to be more independent they may not be ready.  Take queues from their every day and see what tasks they are almost doing themselves anyways and start there. Provide praise when they take initiative to do tasks independently. Ask them to help you with your own tasks like cooking or grocery shopping by giving them age appropriate tasks like counting potatoes or giving them their own shopping list to keep an eye out for.

 

It’s important to recognise when your child is tired or sick, they may not feel like or be able to complete tasks that they normally could. Recognise when it is time to step back from a task and come back to it at a later date or provide a little assistance.

 

 

Kinder Buddies is a Quality First Daycare and Child Care facility in Oakville, Ontario. We take care of children from the age of 6 weeks to 5 1/2 providing nutritious meals and fun activities all day long.