Getting your Toddler to Share

As our little ones start to grow and interact with the world around them it’s important that they learn to share. This is a tough concept for toddlers as the rules aren’t always so obvious. What if the item can’t be shared at the same time? Who decides who gets to play now and who plays later? When is later? Today we at Kinder Buddies Child Care go over some tips and tricks on introducing sharing to your toddler.

Why is Sharing so Hard?

Sharing is more complicated because depending on the situation what we call sharing is different:

• When we share something like food we don’t get it back
• Setting time limits on sharing can be difficult as little ones don’t have a great concept of time.
• Some toys can be played with together like puzzles, while some toys like a specific doll can only be played with one person at a time.

Keep it Positive

As with introducing any new concept to your child, be it potty training or sharing, it’s important to make it a positive experience. Kids respond well to positive reinforcement and if they only get in trouble when they don’t share, sharing becomes a negative experience.

To keep sharing positive when your toddler does share be descriptive in your praise: “Sam was really happy when you shared your truck with him. You are a great friend.”

It also means validating their feelings when they don’t want to share: “You are upset because you are not ready to share your truck with Sam right now. Maybe you can share your truck with Sam later when you aren’t using it?”

Make Sharing a Family thing

Lead by example by sharing as a family and making a point to talk about moments that you are sharing. We share many things together as a family but we don’t really think about mentioning it because it comes so naturally.

• I’d love to play dolls with you, will you share your dolls with me?
• For dessert would you like to share an apple?
• Let’s share the couch when we watch this movie!

When you use the term “sharing” more often and in more situations it becomes a more familiar concept to little ones.

Get a Timer

Time is a hard concept to understand and it takes kids a long time to grasp. (“Are we there yet?”) A concrete way of letting kids know how long they can play with a toy is with a timer. Try and get a kitchen timer that rotates so they can see how long they have left.

This approach may work best with siblings at home but can be used if you are at a play date with a parent who is ok with the concept as well.

Identify Toys that are Special

There are some toys that are incredibly special to your little one. It’s important to remember in adulthood there are very few situations that we would be forced to share some of our prized possessions. Identify those special toys and keep them at home or hide them during play dates at home.

“I know your stuffed bunny is very special to you and you don’t want to share. That’s ok but we will leave stuffed bunny at home so they can be safe.”

When dealing with sharing at home with siblings allow kids to have some special toys that they have to themselves. Sharing is still really important but it isn’t unreasonable to have a few toys that are just for your little one.

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Kinder Buddies Oakville Child Care is a Quality First Daycare and Infant Care facility in Oakville, Ontario. We take care of children from the age of 6 weeks to 5 1/2 providing nutritious meals and fun activities all day long.