Conflict Resolution Strategies for Toddlers

Toddlers are learning to talk and walk as they interact with the world. Kids are going to get frustrated with each other. Today we at Kinder Buddies Oakville will go over some conflict resolution strategies for pre-schoolers.

Identifying Emotions

First step to helping kids work through conflicts is helping them understand how they feel. Once you help them know how they feel, it’s important to explain how others feel in the situation.

It’s helpful to have some tools to help kids identify emotions. You could have dolls that specifically show a different range of emotions or books/flashcards that show specific emotions. When kids identify their emotions and how others are feeling they can make better decisions to resolve the problem.

If you’re out and about you can always mirror the childs emotions. You can also talk through emotions and give them options: Are you sad? Are you frustrated? Are you mad?

Stay Impartial when Mediating

Avoid taking sides even if you see the conflict happen. Ask both children what is happening and have them work through the problem together. Avoid bringing in your own emotions like impatience or anger.

Redirect The Child

Consider having the child move to an activity they enjoy that will help them calm down. Smaller children may have difficulty dealing with emotions at the moment. You can also help children by slowly counting down or having them sing a favourite song. Teaching children to self soothe when emotional is an important skill!

Teach Good Apologies

Always end a conflict with an apology. A great apology:

• Is “I” based: “I’m sorry I spoke out of turn”
• Say sorry
• Talk about what you did wrong
• Tell them how you will change in the future
• Example: “I’m sorry I interrupted you while it was your turn to share. Please finish your story, I will share when you are done.”

This will be difficult for toddlers but it’s a great chance for adults to lead. This means adults should always use this format for conflict not only with kids, but any conflicts that happen in front of kids.

What Not to Do

• Avoid blaming: remember to stay impartial and focus on what we can do or change
• No excuses: avoid excuses. A good apology doesn’t need an excuse.
• Avoid solving the problem right away as a mediator: allow kids to work through solutions together
• Avoid only focusing on the victim: Conflicts take two, it’s important to hear both sides and make sure both kids feel heard.

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Kinder Buddies Oakville Child Care is a Quality First Daycare and Infant Care facility in Oakville, Ontario. We take care of children from the age of 6 weeks to 5 1/2 providing nutritious meals and fun activities all day long.